Forensic Lovers Session

This was first posted on Osho News

One of Madhuri’s healing techniques, based on Voice Dialogue, specific to past relationships.

This is based on Voice Dialogue, but is specific to relationships – in fact, past relationships; so that we get more understanding of what happened. It helps to bring much more awareness about how we impact each other.

You will need:

  • an hour of time
  • 5 cushions
  • a room with some space in it
  • a friend to help you (optional, if you are adept at self-therapy)
  • the questions list
  • 5 medium-sized pieces of paper and a pen

I always start a session with some sort of presencing – sitting quietly, going inside, connecting with hara – perhaps some Aura Soma.

Then, taking the 5 sheets of paper, write the name of an ex-lover on each one – so that you end up with 5 different names.

Place the pillows wherever you feel to place them in the room, but let there be space between them.

Then place a paper with a name on it in front of each pillow.

Now, stand up and shake out your body a bit. Then take a deliberate conscious step out of ‘you’ and into the person whose name is on one of the pieces of paper.

Do not ‘try’ to do this. Just do it. It works. Simply ‘become’ them and let yourself fall into their body, their space, their energy.

Sit down on that pillow, as that person.

Now your helper-friend will start to ask the questions on the list, and you answer them as the person on the piece of paper: using “I”. (If you do this alone, just read the questions aloud yourself and let the ex answer them.)

Remember: the questions are being asked of the ex-lover, not you!

The Questions

  • How are you doing today?
  • Is it okay to be here with us right now?
  • What shall we call you?
  • How long have you been with (insert your name here)? (Note: just trust what arises here. It might be how long you were together, it might be longer; reflecting the fact that there is still impact from the relating.)
  • What is your job in her/his life?
  • How does (insert your name here) treat you?
  • How do you want her/him to treat you?
  • Do you think he/she can do that?
  • How do you see the way (s)he lives her/his life?
  • If you were in charge of her/his life, what changes would you make?
  • How is (s)he as a lover? In bed?
  • Is there anything you need from her/him that (s)he is not giving you?
  • Do you think he/she can do that?
  • Is there anything you’d like to say to her/him before we leave you? (Speak to (your name here), saying ‘you’, rather than ‘(s)he.’)
  • Does (s)he hear you?
  • What does (s)he do?
  • If (s)he doesn’t hear you, what would it take to get her/him to hear you?
  • Do you think (s)he can do that?
  • Thank you, you were very helpful. Is it okay if we leave you now?


“How long have you been with Serena?”
“5 years and 4 months.”

“How did she treat you?”
“She was very loving at first but then she started seeming discontented, and soon she was bitching at me all the time. Or, well, a lot, let’s say. It was awful. Freaked me out. Like my mother.”

“How would you like her to treat you?”
“Just loving! And let me go off alone when I need to!”

“Do you think she can do that?”
“I dunno. She seemed pretty insecure finally. It turned me off.”

And so on…

Then you bow, stand up, step deliberately and consciously out of the ex, and back into you.

Then, turning to another pillow, repeat the above steps, dialoguing with another ex.

Continue until all 5 are done and have had their say.

Now, feel where in the room might be what we can call Buddha-Nature, or Light, or the Witness, or whatever you might want to call that ultimate intelligence.

Step out of yourself and into that.

Take a little time to rest in it, breathe in it, be in it.

Then, your helper-friend asks all the same questions to the Buddha-Nature.

To finish, sit in the middle of the room as ‘you.’ Turn to the first cushion, the first ex-lover, and breathe her/him in and then let her/him go. Then turn to the second, breathe her/him in, let her/him go. Continue until all, including the Buddha-Nature, are done.

Then your helper-friend should go out of the room for 10 minutes while you lie down on your back, with closed eyes, not crossing arms or legs, and be still… which allows the session to integrate.

Afterwards, you and your helper-friend can share how it was for each of you.

Thank your helper-friend.